Last Weekend in Kenya

Well, we are starting to pack our bags, get used to our surroundings, and still having some unique, truly “Kenyan” experiences! As said before, our departure is bittersweet at best. I cannot help but feel angry, at times, for the reason we have to leave. Supposedly, from many angles, people have told us that there must be a higher/bigger plan for us. I am prone to believe that as I follow those lines. Still doesn’t take the bad taste out of my mouth. Regardless, there have been a ton of “experiences” that will not only make us better, more rounded people but also more tolerant too.

This weekend, we got up and took a bit of a trip to the Langata Giraffe Center which is about a kilometer or so from our house. Was really cool to see the Giraffe’s up close, feed them. It is a private conservation center that has a few different species of Giraffe’s and it is quite cool to hear them called by name as well as hear about their individual personalities. Our daughter had a great time and was really geeked about them. I got some decent pictures of her feeding them and some of the wife too. They had a turtle exhibit with turtles the size of a large suitcase…seriously, I think you could put a saddle on these things and s…l…o…w…l…y ride off into the sunset.

We have rediscovered “DP” or Diamond Plaza. When we came here a couple of years ago, it was our favorite place in Nairobi. Because I was learning how to drive and just learning how to navigate the city…and DP is quite a bit away from Karen…it had presented some challenges. I had perfected the long drive to Westgate Mall, which is the small slice of Americana we indulge in about once a week, and finally realized a couple of weeks ago it is actually quite close to DP. So, took an adventure, drove for 10 minutes when I could have actually driven two, and figured out how to get there and back!

DP has the best Indian food I have ever eaten. My in-laws are first generation Indians that immigrated here in the early 1960’s, my wife was born in the States. Because of the in-laws status, they eat a ton of Indian food…they prefer it to American food (and I kind of agree with them on some of it). I hate to say it, but this food is better than what we eat out in the States (and some home cooked meals). Period. The food has almost zero grease, really fresh ingredients (their Palak is to die for). The best dosas I have ever seen/eaten in my life (thank you Chowpatys). They take service to a whole new level too. Imagine walking up to a table in an outside food-court. Then imagine 15 Africans mauling you, almost literally, shoving menus in your face…all talking at once…all reading the menu to you, trying to be louder than their compadres… That is the one thing that sucks. To the un-initiated, it would be an experience that would make you never go back. I sat there and took it all in for a minute or so and then noticed my wife was about to blow a gasket as they had taken to touching my daughter and her toys…that is a huge no-no in my wife’s book. So, I yelled out loudly, “…either back the hell off or we are leaving!” Mzungu are easy prey…they are not supposed to talk back like this…they just shell out money, right? Finally, this Mzungu is starting to get used to being Kenyan…just in time to leave. Funny, we knew who we were going to eat from prior to sitting down. This happens every time and it starts to become humorous after awhile…I cannot imagine how my family would react if I brought them here…the waiters would probably be bleeding if I brought Grandma and Auntie Paula….*snicker*

DP is not just a food place, it also has a ton of different stores that are all oriented towards the Indian Community. The Indian community is quite large here in Nairobi. In the late 1800’s, the British brought over a TON of Indians from India to build the railroad from Mombasa to Uganda (the lunatic line). Seems they brought a bunch of Punjabi’s as there seems to be a ton more of them than the other Indians. Punjabi’s tend to be a bit bigger, the “warriors” of India and probably much better suited to build a railway than the pencil-neck geeks that are from farther North or South. ****Side note, I am not an expert on Injuns, I am just married to one, have many Injun friends and make observations…no offense meant, so get over it**** Because of this mass-migration, once the railway was built the Indians that were still here saw a great opportunity to open convenience stores, clothing stores, restaurants, and electronics stores (sound familiar US and UK?) DP is the Mecca that is all Indian, for sure complete with Indian Grocery store, liquor store, numerous clothing stores, jewelry stores, electronic stores, banks, computer services, and bakeries. We mainly go for the food but in the past have bought some great clothing for a decent price and awhile back picked up a great getup for my daughter to wear on her first “Indian” birthday party…she is going to look really great! As I type this, I am getting hungry and would just about give up my left arm for Pani Puri, Masala Pappadaum, and Mysore Masala Dosa….I’m really hungry.

With just three days left, we thought we were going to be really boring…mostly packing our stuff up, arranging the shipping of our animals back home…generally just getting our affairs in order. Things had been going really smoothly until a couple of days ago, my wife made a comment that there seemed to be a strange odor in the water. I sniffed it real good and it seemed fine. My wife is pretty paranoid about things like this and it was easy to dismiss it. Considering that water is held in a tank in the attic, it is not uncommon for the water to be a bit “tainted”…if you know what I mean. It is actually well water that is pumped up once a day into a 30 gallon tank that feeds the whole house. A day later, we were bathing my daughter and it appeared that she had gone #2 in the water…it smelled, according to my wife. I smelled nothing and did a VERY close inspection…I kinda wanted her to apologize to our 11 month old daughter for such a horrible accusation! Geeze…make our kid grow up with some kinda #2 complex or something…

This morning (Sunday), we got up and she again complained about the water. This time I smelled it and though “…oh my God, somebody crapped in our water tank!” It stunk…dear God it stunk. I was immediately on the phone, texting our landlord about the feces-infused odiferous present coming out of our water taps. I kept thinking; ok, there is a huge drought, the water table has fallen really low and somehow the sewer has drained into our drinking water well (bore hole). We have great landlords and they had a plumber over here within 15 minutes of sending them a text message stating “Uh, there is the strong smell of feces/sewage coming from our water faucets, can you please help?” When the plumber came over, I started to give him my theory and just like in the States, he was not really interested in it. He had to verify that the water actually stunk…and this guy was pretty gamey himself almost smelling worse than the water. I gave him a glass of it and he stuck his nose in it and almost started to take a drink of it (I thought). Moments before the water touched his lips, he jerked back, looked at us and said “your water smells no good”. No shit…

After working on the problem for a about an hour, we are to the point where we need to get leaving…so I went outside to find both the plumbers outside playing with some steel mesh and a long stick. I asked them if they found the problem…and they said yes…dead rat…we need to get out. I brushed my freaking teeth with this water!!!! GAG! What the hell…how does a dead rat get in our water tank? And just how long does the rat have to be in there before it stinks up the whole house? Dear God!!! STOP THE MADNESS… Come to find out, the critter chewed its way through the lid of the tank to get a drink, fell in and drowned…as they removed it from the tank and walked it through the house the unmistakable smell of road-kill/dead animal permeated the whole house like only something dead can. We spend hundreds of dollars a year on candles, potpourri, glade thingys…and none have come up with the ability to smell up a large area so quickly and efficiently as a dead animal. And this thing was big. If it were spread out it would be about 10” nose to tail.



This has been the final straw in the Kenya Experiment for my wife…she is officially done with it. There have been so many challenges, so many hurdles…and we have pretty much taken them all in stride. However, having dead rat in ones mouth and bathing ones infant in dead rat somehow ices the cake. We are now packing quite happily, looking forward to a real bed, a real shower, and water that does not come pre-soaked in dead rodent…gives eau de toilette a whole new meaning.

We land at DFW on Thursday afternoon after spending about 24 hours traveling and although we will have severe jet lag, sleep deprivation that traveling with an infant can only bring…expectations of family for us to be happy, spend time catching up, going out to eat, and all that crap…we truly look forward to it…and finally watching Fox News after a four month plus deprivation…

Peace,

Dude
FBO

Bureaucratic BS….or other words, Kenyan Standard Operating Procedure

Ok, so one of the reasons we came here to Kenya was so that my wife could work as a physician. When she was going through Medical School, Internship, and Residency she made a promise to God that if she fulfilled all her obligations, she would donate some time to the needy. Not only that, but it makes her feel good too.

I am blessed with an incredibly smart and hardworking wife. She completed her residency at Henry Ford Health Systems in Detroit, MI about six years ago. Since that time, she has worked mostly as a hospitalist…meaning you darn sure do not want her to be your doctor. She only treats patients that are really sick and have to be admitted to the hospital, usually managing multiple chronic diseases at a time, like Congestive Heart Failure combined with Kidney Failure. From what I have heard, unsolicited from various physicians, my wife is very good at what she does. It is not just her clinical abilities, but patients tend to really appreciate her personal touch to each patient she works with. Regardless of all of that, she is a very good Internist with excellent training and plenty of valuable experience.

Here in Kenya there is a shortage of doctors. I think it is on the order of one doctor available for every 7000-8000 Kenyans. Compare that to the U.S which has a doctor for every 390 Americans…there is a bit of a delta. Also, there are a lot of folks that cannot even really afford health care. Before there are the comparisons of health care unavailable in the States…do not even start. There is NO comparison. Period. If you think there is, you are full of crap.

With a shortage of doctors, and that number is a little un-transparent if you want to include the term “good” in front of Doctors. The physicians in Kenya, if they were trained in Kenya…are not necessarily top-shelf. Of course, there are surely excellent doctors here! Do not get me wrong and when all you buttholes out there that start writing me messages regarding my misuse of facts that there are excellent doctors here…you are, again, full of crap if you think the training here is the same as in the United States or India or Great Britain…so much so that your eyes are turning brown.

Regarding this shortage; one would think that the government would be willing to do something to overcome a shortage and to bolster what is good for Kenyans. One would think better trained physicians offering their services for free would be a good idea? Nope. The bureaucracy here is as thick as their intellect and the hospital administration just as thick. I think that if you can fog a mirror, assure inconsistency, and speak out of your ass…YOU TOO CAN BE A HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATOR! We have spent a month making contacts, going to the Medical Board…even carrying letters from various physicians and hospitals trying to get not just a Kenyan Medical License but also a Kenyan Work Permit…NOT TO EARN MONEY BUT TO DONATE TIME! No luck yet. It actually is no different if she wanted to do it right now to make money…i.e. if we were going to stay. To peel through the onion-like layers of the crap is tedious at best. And they wonder why the best talent looks to leave this country, have and always will look for better places to earn a living.

Not really funny, but interesting; the Kenyan government has a track record of making poor decisions allowing their citizens to die in preference to either the members of governments best interest or their stupidity, greed, corruption…God knows what drives them.

There was an article in the Saturday Nation newspaper this week that went into detail about in 1986, folks being rounded up on the street because the government was paranoid that there might be folks either going to protest openly and/or a revolt of sorts…all of it appears to be unfounded in retrospect. No matter, these people were brought in off the street…prominent people in the community and subjected to REAL torture. Not being water boarded or forced to listen to loud music or maybe a room that was uncomfortable. No, they were chained down and had their scrotums burned with cigarettes and needles run through their penises and the tips of their fingers…no food or sunlight for weeks…being held in feces-loaded water; all of this sanctioned by the government that was founded to protect the people.

When the drought started last year the government was swift to move into action! It was determined very early that there would be a food shortage. The staple food here is Maize…most all of the locals eat it with most every meal. It is very simple, 1 cup of maize meal to 2 cups of water (ratio) , boil the water, add the maize slowly and stir until one cannot really stir anymore. Let it set-up like bread and eat it with gravy of vegetables and maybe a small amount of meat. No matter, the maize is the bulk of the meal and vital to the health of the general public. The valiant government stepped up and bought up all the maize…then stored it so that prices would double in time of drought, then they could sell it for a huge profit to their starving constituents.

Granted, all of this sounds very familiar to Obama and his Liberal goon-friends…and I am sure happened under Bush and every other president to some extent. However, it has never happened so outlandishly, so brazen, and so out-in-front of the public. The government is a joke here. The locals all just kind of shrug, laugh it off, and say it is better now than under Moi. Right now, getting pissed on beats getting crapped on I guess?

It is really frustrating dealing with the Kenyan Government, for sure. It is even more frustrating to know what a freaking great country this could be here. There is a HUGE opportunity coming here very shortly regarding communications…the big fiber-optic hub being drug across the Indian Ocean into Kenya. This will give the same capabilities of, say Austin, TX or Tulsa, OK. Kenya can become a powerhouse of communication…Americans like Kenyan English better than East Indian English…if you know what I mean. Regardless, after living here and seeing how the government will line its pockets before doing anything at all to help its constituents…I am sure they can screw this up too. Much like a humanitarian looking to do some good, outsiders will come here to help the Kenyans. Give them a fish, you can feed them a day, teach them to fish they can feed themselves a lifetime. Hard to do when the government steals the fishing poles, boats, lures, hooks, and owns the fish processing plants, the waters, and sells the fishing licenses…

Peace

Dude,
FBO

Two Weeks To Go...

Our adventure, as it pertains to Kenya, is ending two weeks from today. Right now, we are very confused as to what we think, albeit we know that it is truly bittersweet. There are things we know we are going to miss; there are things we could give a crap about…period. I hope that there are things that we miss more so than we do not give a crap about as we really think we would like to return one day. In the past I have written about things that are really cool here, almost like I am some sort of travel agent trying to sell you on the idea of moving here. I will convey the cool things, for sure. However I am also going to try and convey the darker side of things too.

As I type this, I am sitting at a Dormans coffee shop located in a small shopping mall called “Junction”. It is like all malls in Nairobi, anchored by large supermarkets (Nakumatt’s usually) instead of Sears, J.C. Pennys, Dillards, Nordtroms, etc, etc… like in the States. It has a lot of the same conveniences that are at malls in the states. It also has the pretty much the exact same thing one can find at any mall located in Nairobi (that I have been to). As stated earlier, there is a supermarket, there is also a Chemist (drug store), Optic Store, Health Food Store, Cinemas, Dormans, Java House, a bunch of funky, WAY overpriced clothes boutiques, tourist-trap knick-knack stores, etc, etc, etc… I don’t really frequent shopping malls in the States, so I cannot say if they are the exact same everywhere one goes, but I would assume that if you went to one almost every single freaking day…because there is nothing else better to do, there is no electricity, running water, and everything in the fridge has now defrosted, frozen, defrosted, frozen God only knows how many times…it starts to suck. We have not lived here long enough to be truly “locals” but have definitely been here long enough to get past tourist status. Once the cool-factor has worn off, one really needs something to do, i.e. work, in order to enjoy a place. Unfortunately, we are beyond that now…

Our two-bedroom place we have been renting took a little bit to get used to. It is VERY small…maybe 500 sq/ft and is basically revamped servant’s quarters really. It is located in a rather safe location in Karen (which is nice) and has great landlords….other than that it SUCKS! Now I am going to go out on a limb here and assume that this is Americans trying to compare living in the States to Kenya…so be it. We rented our house “furnished” which includes furniture. The beds that came with the house, I am sure, were purchased from Marquis de Saud House of Pain. First off, the bed is like rock candy….shiny and pretty with a frame out of Mahogany. The fact that it is too short for even a 5’9” person like me to stretch out fully is frightening and it is a double that makes it difficult for my wife and I to both sleep. I understand why this is so, any bed bigger would not fit in the Master Bedroom! The major design flaw however; there is no provision for a box-spring mattress either. Instead, we have a four inch thick foam mattress. This was bearable prior to my wife getting here…barely, as I could lay diagonal and not have my toes bent. Now that the mattress has broken down to the point it takes hours to inflate back to four-inch thickness but mere seconds to compress flat against the boards underneath…my back has never hurt me in my life…now I pray I can hang in there until I get back to the States and my good old King size bed with box springs, AND a double-thick mattress with kick-ass pillow-top! This is not something one thinks about prior to relocating…will “average” rooms accommodate normal sized beds…and what the hell are the mattresses made of? I mean, I assumed from my past experiences that they would not be made out of banana leaves…or camel dung….what we have is barely better. Our couches…our dog will barely lay on…bear in mind this is a dog that likes to lie on concrete! One of the priorities I put in life is quality of sleep and relaxation. I normally only sleep maybe 5-6 hours a night on average so I need them to be relatively high-quality to remain normal; define normal, I know… Not having a couch to resort to sucks even worse. Whoever built this thing, in their infinite wisdom, thought it appropriate to place dividers between the sections made of plywood that conveniently jab one in the side if they try to lie down…and the couch is not really long enough to allow me to lay lengthwise across it. My wife, who is barely 5 foot, cannot really even lay down on it. Bring on the sectionals we have in storage!!! Especially the one with built-in recliners at each end…I’m coming home baby!

Being kept in the loop…that is something that is bittersweet too. Prior to my departure, I `was definitely a Fox News junky…First there was Sheperd, then Neil, followed by Glenn, Shep, Bill, and then Sean. Every day it played during the day in the background. While I was working or doing whatever, I kept an ear out to keep up on what was going on in my country. Here in Kenya, folks seem to be pretty in tune to the happenings going on in their country. However, unlike here in the States, they do not act like blind sheep falling on grenades and selling their souls to support a stupid ideal. Here, they are informed and have their own opinions, not what the newspapers or television tells them to have…actually unique opinions. It is quite refreshing compared to the sissies in the United States blindly following that loser who runs with Pelosi, Reid, Reed, and Frank…it is so pathetic and appalling…I do not even understand it. Keeping up with the happenings in the States is tough here. Internet is too expensive to really utilize to watch news clips and the news here is either biased European crap or worse, Al Jazeera… Obviously, if you are interested in Kenyan politics and news, this is a great place…however predicting that government officials will be stealing from the public, poor people will starve and die…will be the news of the day in various flavors for the next four or five years. I am ready for different story lines, stories that challenge my imagination as the “Anointed One” has his popularity numbers plummet like Isaac Newton testing it against gravity.

FM Radio…sure, I am probably the only person on planet Earth that does not own an iPod. Fortunately, I have always been pleased by what I can listen to on the radio. During weekdays, I was used to listening to AM Talk Radio, something that one cannot find here in any fashion. There is definitely talk radio, but most all of it is in Kiswahili or talks about crap I have zero interest in. Now granted, I would rather listen to Kiswahili than the crap Air America plays or anything that our Liberal government wants us to listen to if they should pass “Alinsky Jujitsu” in regards to the “fairness doctrine”. Look both of those up; if it does not scare you, you are stupid. I also really miss the strong FM radio selection that we have in the United States. Here, there are 20 different rap stations playing the same 20 songs….over and over and over and over…. There is one rock station that plays a decent selection…great on Sunday mornings and very late at night but random and off-beat the rest of the day. I miss Classic Rock stations, real Rock stations, and generally being able to find something awesome to listen to almost any time….anywhere.

I have talked about the food quite a bit before. Always mentioning the really great fruits, vegetables and chicken that is available here. True, I have never lived anywhere that this great a fruit selection existed…but I am not a primate, I require real meat to be happy and healthy. There is only so much chicken that I can really eat before I am pretty much guaranteed to not eat it ever again…and I am rapidly reaching that point. They call chicken “kuu kuu” (like cookoo clock) and it is about to drive my wife and I both “kuu kuu”. They do have beef here, but as I have said previously, it would make people think eating beef is a very bad idea. Can you imagine? Not being able to get a decent hamburger ANYWHERE! Even steaks suck here. Matter of fact, imagine your school cafeteria getting a hold of some poor cuts of steak, then trying to prepare them and serve to kids…by probably baking them or something. That is what a steak is like here. Now I will pat myself on the back, I am a master at grilling steaks on a charcoal weber grill. Matter of fact, with good steaks, I will put mine up against Three Forks, Ruths Chris, Shulas…and I can flat blow away a place like Outback. I do not care how good one is with a grill, the quality of meat here will prevent one from creating anything worthy of even a “sizzler” experience… All one really needs to do is look at the quality of the cattle here. Most of them can be seen herded along various roads near where I live…stopping traffic as they meander from ditch to ditch looking for their next meal…eating ditch-weed. You can see each and every bone in their bodies…in the States folks would call the SPCA on the herders for cruelty to animals. There are no facilities for great cows, so no great beef. Full tenderloins weigh less than 2.2 pounds…probably closer to Nine pounds in the US. This is even true of “free range” “Happy Cow” Organic beef…excellent grains and grasses fed to these beautiful animals instead of various weeds than can be found in ditches… Score one for American Ranchers and Farmers, for sure! So, to that end, my first meal is going to be a hamburger from Kincaids…probably the best burger out money can buy. After that, I am going to purchase a killer, Prime KC Strip or Bone-In Ribeye and grill it a perfect Rare to Medium-Rare and enjoy 18-20 Ounces of pure heaven…

Water…everyone knows that it is a life-source and something humans cannot live without. Having to deal with it here is something entirely different. When we were here the last time, it was a bit different. Most importantly, there was not a severe water shortage. As mentioned previously, the water shortage has led to an electrical shortage (hydroelectric generators…only…yet another good example for Obama and his cronies to visit). Not just an electrical shortage, but shortages where folks do not have running water in their houses… Folks who rely on wells find out that the increased demand has drained wells that have been “full” for a century… Not just the availability, but what is available one cannot drink. One can, but as mentioned earlier it is a deal with the devil in regards to getting hard-core diarrhea or possibly worse… There could be a real fear of Cholera in parts of Kenya due to nasty water being the only water. Imagine being thirsty and the only thing wet is the sewage ditch leaving your town…or dead livestock laying everywhere because of no water! Not only am I looking to taking a long, hot shower...not only am I looking forward to being able to “drink the water”….not only am I looking forward to having hot water on-tap….not only am I looking forward to being morbidly afraid of being killed by a water delivery truck…but most importantly what I am looking forward to is having ice in my drinks once again. Can the average American consider, for a minute, what it is like to not have ice in a soda or water or tea?

The final thing I am really looking forward to is familiarity. Something that has been lost for the past four months…something that I didn’t think I would ever be thankful for. However, when I need to go find AA batteries, car parts, groceries, medicines, butt paste, or even where I can go for a walk without fear of being mugged or hit by a crazy KC in their Land Rover. There is no doubt that I have enjoyed the Kenyan experience, am a better person for it, and will miss many, many things sorely. I truly wish things had worked out a bit better for us…and there is a very good chance that we shall someday return…this place has gotten into our blood. We still love the people, the lifestyle, and the culture…there are things that we are going to find out we miss and love once we arrive back in Texas. Truly there is no Utopian society, albeit all have their plusses and minuses. Which one best fits one…well, it’s kinda like shoes, one has gotta try on quite a few and walk a lotta miles in em to figure out what are the favorite, most comfortable pair ever. Kenya is definitely like a comfortable pair of shoes. Fortunately, we have a comfortable pair back home too.

Attack of the Killer Caterpillars...

It seems that although my wife and I are not working at the moment and are not really doing the “tourist” thing here in Kenya…we always manage to find ways to keep ourselves entertained. This can be difficult assuming we and everyone within 10 Kilometers (it seems) has no electricity and a large percentage of folks have no water either. One great benefit of this is that it allows us to play with our daughter a lot more and often than we previously did. We brought all of her toys with us here to Kenya and they have been a real boon! Add to that the portable DVD player reserved solely for non-electrical Sesame Street DVD Days, and we really consider ourselves fortunate.

Today was a great start of a day! There was sunshine, it was not too cold finally and I was able to make a cup of coffee by boiling water on the propane stove and then using a coffee press instead of the standard coffee maker I have been using. The coffee press I have at home that was bought in the States was a really good one and makes excellent coffee. The one here…not so good as it leaves a fair amount of grit in ones teeth and does not quite “seal” when plunging. That is ok, as I guess I do not mind chewing my coffee down…just cannot chew my milk down for sure.

Rayna slept in late (until probably 9:00am) and woke up in a phenomenal mood! Giggling, wanting to play; she even went to the toy bag on her own and started bringing me toys. She does not normally do that. So, I took the toys and we started playing. We played for almost an hour and had an absolute blast! We practiced the new words she is picking up (Daddy, Mommy, Kitty, “Woof”, “Moo”, tickle, Grandma, Nana, more, yes, no, etc..” and stacked rings and blocks ad nausea. We fed her morning cereal and she got a second wind and started tearing at the toys again. Throwing things, crawling and falling everywhere…

She crawls behind where I am sitting so I turn to watch her play. She has picked up a pack of gum and throwing it randomly. She throws it one last time, picks it up…and I will remember this for the rest of my born days. Her head rolls slowly to the right with a look I have never seen before but understood as a combination of fear, curiosity, and pain…within seconds of getting eye-contact with her Daddy she develops a blood-curdling scream that has never been heard before either. Her Mommy was in the shower and couldn’t figure out what in the heck I had done. As I knock over the chair to get to where she is, I notice there is a cute and fuzzy caterpillar on the floor. Caterpillars do not bite, do they?

In the United States, caterpillars are cool little worms that kids catch and let them turn into beautiful butterflies. I am relatively sure as hell they do not bite! Matter of fact, I have never heard of a caterpillar accident in my life other than squishing one a bit too hard until the juice comes out… However, my experience with “African” caterpillars is quite limited. Seems these really cute caterpillars, when molested, act very similar to a porcupine; when I looked closely there were probably a hundred spines stuck all over my daughters hand, fingers, and thumb. Now what the heck do I do? Not much experience with porcupine caterpillars…so I guess I will call someone. So, I call a local friend of ours, Sonia, who has raised children and grown up here. I briefly explain to her what has happened and she asks me what color the caterpillar was. I said “red” but let me check…once I came back and told her it was brown/black and not red, she said “oh no…”

I don’t like “oh no’s” much. When I say it around my dog, she almost literally pees right where she stands as the fear of wrath grips her. Oh no is never good… So, she says she is going to make a call and call us back. During this time, I remember my first aid kit I made up and got the plastic tweezers out of it and proceeded to pull out as many of the caterpillar “hairs” as I could. The daughter was not appreciative of it, but figured it had to be done. We get a call back and were advised to soak her hand in warm salt water to relieve pain and act as an antiseptic…so that is what we did. In addition, the wife found the number to the local clinic in Karen and gave them a call. I had already downplayed it a bit until I heard my wife say “…Honey, how quickly can we get there? They will see her right away…” Oh no (again). I say we can be there in 10-15 minutes. I hear something in my head talking about potential anaphylactic shock (I am horribly allergic to bees, hornets, and wasps) and get my butt in gear.

We made a record in getting our crap together, in the car, and on the road. As we are driving down Bogani road, the car starts acting kinda weird but I guess I didn’t let it warm up completely. As I turn North onto Karen Road, the damn thing stalls on me…and does not want to restart. Oh no (again!) So, 20 minutes on the side of the road trying to figure out why the choke has stuck closed, and it is hot, and the fans are not running…crap! Fortunately, one of the Askaris (security guards) nearby actually has some mechanics wire that I can use to wire the choke open, so 20 minutes and KES150 later we are on our way, chugging and bucking the entire way. It only died one more time but at least it got us to Karen Surgery…

I hadn’t noticed, but by the time we got there my daughter had fallen asleep (this has to be good, right?) We were seen right away by the good Dr. Basil who very quickly scanned our daughter, looked at us with a sly smirk and asked “well, it looks like you have done all the necessary things…what do you want me to do?” Seems there is nothing to worry about after all…they just itch and if not taken out in time can sometimes get infected like any other organic material stuck in ones skin.

Now, we thank God that our daughter is not going to suffer serious consequences from the big, badass caterpillar! We are left at the house without transportation until we can get our borrowed vehicle fixed, which sucks. However we are grateful for everything. We always hear about not drinking the water, lions, mosquitoes, cholera, TB, HIV, drought, famine, etc…who ever heard of killer caterpillars?

Peace,

Dude
FBO

Western Medicine and Health Care...compared.

I have been reading, with interest, the debate regarding the health care system in the United States over the past few weeks. Seems even moving 8,000 miles away cannot keep me completely out of politics or what is going on back home… Without television (we got rid of our TV package through Satellite about a month ago), I rely on computer and newspaper…and I cannot tell which ones are more biased at this point.

Living in Africa has given me a unique opportunity to see this issue from a different point of view. There are cries from all walks of life in America about how broken the system is. The Democrats feel that the system does not properly guarantee all citizens the right of excellent, affordable medical care, physicians are not held accountable for their actions, and that the government should predicate what services the public should receive. The Republicans appear to want zero government regulation, the system is not broken, leave it alone. The libertarians seem to think that it is each person’s responsibility to provide themselves with health care coverage and make do with the free-markets system. Here in Africa, folks just die.

There are numerous hospitals here in Nairobi…probably some of the best in Eastern Africa and outside of South Africa. Medical services are quite reasonable here. We took our daughter to a clinic, a very expensive clinic in Karen, and the total cost was about $50 USD for everything…without insurance. There are other, much more affordable clinics that will cost one about $10 to see a physician but this is in a hospital setting and one worries about what one might catch sitting in the waiting room for an hour or so prior to seeing the physician. In a land where Aids and TB affect 33% of the population…that can be worrisome. The major point is healthcare here is affordable…for those who have a good income. Those that do not…well, it is just like in the States; either go to the Government Hospital or do without.

There are a lot of smart Kenyans. No doubt. There are also a lot of smart Kenyans that are becoming physicians. They go through very similar training as American physicians except it seems that their Medical School is also part of their regular College training where US Physicians require four years of pre-med college and then another four years of medical school prior to Internship and Residency.
The Hospitals here in Nairobi, on the outside, look very much like modern hospitals in the States. They are large, have hundreds of “white coats” walking the halls and even have very nice private rooms. One of the setups we checked out was the “Princess Zhara” pavilion at Aga Khan Hospital. This is a Women’s hospital ward that has the best of the best delivery rooms in the country. Very nice, like a nice hotel and has amenities for relatives as well as mother and child. We chose to deliver in the States instead of moving here sooner because it is kind of like Rock Candy…nice and shiny on the outside but you really do not know what is inside. Nice clean rooms but does the hospital have a competent NICU? Maybe it has a CAT scan? Probably does not have an MRI scan. What about state of the art laboratories? Medicine manufactured in the States or is it made in China with melamine?

Patients are pretty much the same everywhere…except when society does not have the abilities required to follow a structured plan of recovery. For example, if there are medicines that require a strict time-table…must be taken every four hours to be effective…what if you do not own a watch? What if one believes in “traditional” healing more than “modern western” medicine? You know, sacrifice a goat and rape a virgin to cure HIV? I’m not making this crap up either… Regardless, patients that are not able to follow a structured regiment are not going to get well no matter how smart doctors are or what technology is available. I had to mention that in all fairness.

Now, the big differences between Kenya and the United States…MONEY! WEALTH! FORTUNE! HUGE HOUSES! HUGE INCOMES! MONSTROUS PAYCHECKS! It is that simple. Higher cost of medicine provides better end results…really. It is also a contributing factor as to why the rest of the world’s medicine is not as accomplished as the United States health care system. Very simply, we have the best technology, the best hospitals, the best staff, the best physician, and the best medicine…period.

U.S. Hospitals are very unique in that they have almost every medical instrument required to diagnose anything at any time. There is not an MRI machine in this area of the CONTINENT where I live now. But health care is cheap! If required, a physician can get an MRI done to find something that is wrong with a patient in the States. In Africa, India, England, Canadia…it might take WEEKS to get a test completed. Thank God it is cheaper there though.

U.S. Hospitals are also very well equipped in regards to support staff (Administration, Nursing, Maintenance, Cafeteria, Janitorial, Cleaning, Patient Education, and Support of all kinds). When one enters an American hospital, they know they will have clean water coming from the tap, sterile equipment, clean and sterile rooms (hopefully), climate control systems, consistent electricity, and a great infrastructure that guarantees excellent communication systems, tracking systems, and even cable television. Heck, U.S. hospitals even have excellent support systems of volunteer networks to assist in the process.

U.S. Physicians are the best in the world. It is not because they are American…as any idiot can see at any hospital in the States…rather it is a collection of the best people available in the world! In Six Sigma, one can find the root of most any problem by following the BOB’s and WOW’s. Best of the Best (BOB’s) and Worst of the Worst (WOW’s). There is no question that the BOB’s of the medicine world predominately practice in the United States and for one reason…MONEY! Other than the UAE and certain places in the Middle East, there is no other place in the world where a physician can earn this type of income…and very few folks want to live in a Muslim country in the middle of the desert!

This also contributes to poorer medical service in places like Nairobi…all the really good physicians want to relocate to the States to earn a great income instead of earning $36,000.00 USD a year in Kenya. Maybe $48,000.00 if they are a specialist and very good at what they do. Why in the world would they want to go to the States and earn a starting salary of $150,000.00 a year up to $1,000,000.00 a year? Each year there are thousands of foreign doctors that want to gain admission to U.S. Medical Schools and Residency programs for this reason. Also, they understand they will get the best available education in the world, albeit it will cost 10 times as much. When I am laying in a hospital bed (God forbid) dying from some disease, I do not want some “WOW” that barely made it through medical school determining my course of action…I want the “BOB’s” of the world checking me out…and I am willing to pay for it and/or suffer the consequences.

Medicine is the best of the best in the United States because free enterprise drives the best people to invest in the best practices, technology, and medicines…period. It is the envy of the world and has never been duplicated. Sure, there are people that suffer without services…but that does not mean we should make it cheap! There is cheap healthcare here in Africa! Very affordable! Why does one not see tons of people flocking here to get treated? It is cheaper in Mexico, why do the Mexicans flock to U.S. Hospitals when they could go back home and get treated cheaply or for free? Why do English folks die from cancer when there are available treatments…? Albeit expensive ones the government will not pay for? I am willing to bet that the ones that are pushing for “Free Health Care for All” would not suffer the decrease in services provided…so who is going to pay for this; the wealthy? You mean make the ones that are providing the service to suffer the cost? What is their motivation to invest $200,000.00 in medical school costs, suffer the horrors of Internship and Residency to become physicians if you are only going to take their earning potential away?

If the U.S. is not careful and allows the liberal agenda to move forward unchecked, our health
care system will deteriorate and become very similar to the less-effective ones found elsewhere in the world. A world-leader in Medicine becoming a third-world provider… This author does not have all the answers, that’s for sure. However, he does have experience in the medical field, particularly with physicians and hospitals, in different countries. This is only one angle but the author feels it is a very crucial element that is ignored during the health care debate. After experiencing a “less than stellar” health care system that is very inexpensive allow a young man to die from something that was very treatable…and hundreds of other stories exactly like his…do you really want that in the States?

"Coming to America"

As I transitioned from young adult to where I am at today, say from 25 onwards, cable TV always seemed to have “Coming To America” playing on some channel any hour of the day. My friend P.J. would visit and inevitably we would end up watching it each and every time…maybe not start to finish but it didn’t seem to matter. I liken my return to the States as something from that movie; leaving an African country for the spoils of the United States.

Unfortunately and as has been mentioned previously, things did not quite work out the way we anticipated them to. I had left home 6 weeks prior to my wife’s departure due to the necessity and importance of the new job I had over here. “Had” being the operative word as it never materialized…and kind of never really existed except in the mind of he who offered it to me unfortunately. There initially was a lot of finger pointing here which never amounts to any good, especially among friends. Regardless, the original idea was that I had an outstanding job opportunity here and it gave us the flexibility of my wife working if she chose. Now with it being three months without me earning an income and no exact understanding of when my wife could get her license to practice medicine here, we have decided that our short-term plan is to return to the States.

It is a bittersweet decision. No other way to say it I guess. We had been planning our move to Kenya for two years...even had discussed it with my Father prior to his passing away. His blessing was the final straw for us to commit to the plan. The adversity we overcame to get here…some has been well documented and some folks will never know…but suffice to say it was thick, it was stinky, and it was overcome. It was always bearable because we knew what Kenya was like and we knew that it would afford us a better lifestyle than what we had in the States. Sometimes these perceptions are just that, perceptions. Sometimes they are bona-fide and comforting to know that we were right…. I am going to toss some of the ideas out there and see how they panned out…with three weeks until our departure, I think we got a decent handle on how things are working over here.

One of the biggest motivators for us was the option of raising our daughter (and future son!) here. My wife and I have been somewhat disgusted at what society predicates is appropriate child-rearing in the States. The differences between when we were raised to my daughters generation is appalling. Today, many parents reason, debate, and argue with their child. That crap didn’t fly in my house growing up…matter of fact, it never crossed my mind that it was an option. A good swat on the butt, while still being effective is now more effective at having Social Services visit your house. Children 10-12 years old having oral sex parties when at that age (if I had ever heard the term) probably thought it was kissing a girl? A fourteen year old girl in our wealthy city of Southlake Texas was found dead of an overdose of heroin… Obama and his tree-hugging cronies mounting debt that my grandchildren will never be able to pay back (and Bush helped a bit too), folks wanting the word “God” out of anything and everything, not being an equal society but empowering minorities with entitlements, a possible decline in health care, the American Dollar falling out of favor…and these are just things that come to mind on a Sunday morning as I type this. It is hard to want to raise a child in America. It can be done and will require more due-diligence than my parent’s generation (or even those of my generation who chose to have children at an earlier age than 40!!)

Here in Kenya, many of those problems do not exist. Children are engrossed in school, private academies are affordable where exemplary educations can be had…and the kids all work really hard. Not only do they work hard at school, the society teaches them that they work hard at being part of the family. Kids do not go out at night, especially on a school night but hardly on weekends. Kids do not date until they are 18 for the most part. Kids do not drive. There is not an alcohol or drug problem (from what I can see) here either. I have not witnessed a single act of defiance from a child to a parent since arriving here…nothing but what I would call 1950’s “Leave it to Beaver” respect. There is not a predominance of single-parent homes (which is a huge issue in the States) and it is not uncommon for the entertainment of a Kenyan family to be the entire family doing something together…not the kids taking off in one direction and the parents in the other. It is hard to explain unless one has been here, but the differences are deafening in this respect.

Quality of work life is also a good measure of quality of life. In the United States, all things revolve around work. When you get up, when you eat, when you sleep, when (or if) you visit with family and friends…and almost always necessary to have two incomes to succeed. The hustle and bustle of American work ethics is non-existent here. There is a saying that is not far from true here in Kenya, “why do today what you can put off and do tomorrow?” On one hand, maybe that explains why Kenyans have not walked on the moon, created ICBM’s, or are known for their scientific endeavors but it also may explain why Xanax, Valium and other psycho-enhancing drugs and services are not required here. If someone gets crazy here because something is delayed there are either two responses (or they both happen simultaneously…. One, “crazy American/Mzungu” or two, “are you serious?”

Cool folks are aplenty here in Kenya. As mentioned previously, there are not too many people in a hurry here, they do not get too stressed out, and are always quick to offer a smile. It seems that when one meets a Kenyan, it does not matter what socio-economic group one is from…there is a polite greeting exchange, a few nice words and always a smile. Kenyans are the smileyest (sp?) folks I have ever run into. Actually, they either smile or have no expression…very rarely have I ever seen a frown or anger. Matter of fact, I would be willing to say that if a Kenyan was pissed at you, you would never know it by looking at them. Compare that to living in the States…even the dude at Burger King is upset for even having to be there at work and may just add a “secret sauce” to your food if you do not kiss their butt just right. Here, it is an honor to have a job and be of service…with a smile. Folks would never dream of desecrating food…something that is so sacred, it is unheard of. It makes it easy to treat everyone equal here as everyone seems to be happy to be around you here. It is very hard to explain unless you have experienced it and I highly recommend it.

I always used to think that the Good Samaritan in the States was unique…albeit it has died off a lot since I was younger. Now it appears that in the States (with very few exceptions) folks will help you only for “…what’s in it for me?” A call to supposedly good friends will go unanswered …probably the biggest reason folks in the U.S. utilize caller I.D. Folks cannot be bothered with others problems as they have too many of their own. Or, maybe there are folks that are happy to see you fail as they have an inner jealousy that does not want to see their friends or acquaintances be as/more successful than themselves. There are others that are just sick and like to see others fall. My wife and I have been exposed to a TON of this back in the States and it is very, very sad. Here, at the slightest sign of trouble folks come out of the woodwork to try and help. When I posted some “issues” I was having to this blog, I didn’t get a single response of “sorry” or “can I help” or “hope things get better” from anyone (other than my step-sis in Coffeyville…thank you Carissa). However, unsolicited responses from people we knew and even people we did not know from Kenya came in with offers to help any way they could and to offer sympathy and apologies for our encounters with adversity. We told our landlords of our problems and they immediately offered to delay rent due, call people they know for jobs, etc… A great guy I know who helped us import our animals heard and offered to assist, invited us over for dinner, and wanted to help us sell things we had purchased here. The outpouring of assistance and understanding was both a blessing and a surprise. Even the guy that mans the gate here in our compound who probably earns $50 a month, said he was sorry to hear our troubles and that we were leaving…and asked if there was anything he could do to help. You will NEVER find that in the States…period. (ONE NOTE: We have some amazing friends that have helped us from the States…you know who you are…do not take anything from this paragraph)

The food is better here too…considering you keep a few things in mind. One, you will NEVER get as good a hamburger or steak here. Beef is just not as good here. Two, you will pay out the nose for convenience foods here…almost twice as much as the cost in the States. However, if you want fresh, organic by design foods, this is your place. In the States, one pound of boneless chicken breasts will buy you probably two breasts? Maybe three? Here it will by six. Chicken is a staple food here and is not pumped full of antibiotics, steroids, and God knows what else to make it bigger, plumper, juicier, or whatever. Instead, it is a bit smaller but tastes way better too. My wife will not really eat chicken in the States because it tastes like chicken. Here, she really enjoys chicken because it does not taste like chicken here….maybe that is why the references of everything tasting like chicken in the States actually refers to it tasting like crap? Vegetables here are really, really good too. Instead of going to Central Market in Southlake to buy special organic avocados the size of a lemon for $2 a piece we buy organic avocados the size of a softball for 20 cents apiece. Onions, potatoes, carrots, peppers are all “organic” here and fresh off the vine. The fruits are even better. Living on the equator in the tropics makes Mangos, Bananas, Passion, Guava, Pineapple, and other fruits incredibly tasty and incredibly cheap. Four pounds of Mangos will run well under a dollar. Two full grocery bags of fruits and vegetables will cost under $15 USD and be better than anything one could buy in the States.

Restaurants are also a great thing here. We had arguably one of the best Italian meals in our lives last evening in a place that is attached to a Mall. My wives family is Indian and have eaten a lot of Indian food in the States…but consistently I have eaten way better Indian food here in Kenya (even in Mall food courts) than can be found in the best restaurants (and mothers kitchens) in the United States. Seafood dinners that are on par with the best seafood restaurants in Florida, Hawaii, Gulf Coast…for a third the cost here in Kenya…maybe even better? Everywhere there is world-class coffee that would put Starbucks out of business once and for all and beverages that are made out of sugar cane sugar instead of “high-fructose corn syrup” that will blow you away…never mind the fresh fruit juices without any added sugar that are to die for. However did I mention there are no good burgers or steaks? I don’t know if any of the previously mentioned trumps that though…

There are obviously things lacking here…huge things that impact ones day to day living. Almost all of these things revolve around the civil infrastructure here. Lump them together as Electricity, Water, Transportation, and Communication.

Electricity is a very fragile commodity here in Kenya. It is everywhere and there are tons of modern conveniences available that run off of it including our new LCD TV, Stereo system, lights, cell phone chargers, vape chips, microwaves, refrigerators, etc… The bad thing is that all of these very cool appliances and niceties will only run about half the time. Electricity is in “conservation” mode right now. I am assuming that it is predominately generated by hydroelectric means and there is a huge water shortage (will get to that later). Needless to say, we have taken very few hot showers…even warm ones, in the past month because there are no hot water tanks. Hot water is generated by an appliance that resembles a shower head and bolts on to the end of the spigot in ones shower. It plugs into the wall and instantly heats water for the shower. Without this appliance being on, the water comes out at a cool 55 degrees Fahrenheit… I know I have mentioned this before on many different mediums but it bears the test of time to repeat that this is a monstrous pain in the butt…literally sometimes. Some very long days spent in the house with no radio, TV, light, hot water, microwave, refrigerator, cell phone…or COFFEE MAKER!!! It kind of sucks…

As mentioned previously, the water supply here is a bit shaky too. To conserve electricity, arbitrarily and without notice, it is shut off at 6:00am and turned back on sometime between 5:00pm and 7:00pm…every day of the week except occasionally on Sunday. This is a monstrous pain in the ass…really as it even affects water. Houses here are a bit different than in the States…there is no modern water supply system here…it is either delivered by trucks to a holding tank that is either in ones attic or sitting on a very tall stand (your own personal water tower) and that is how one gets water pressure…by gravity on your own property. Some folks are blessed by having a bore hole (well water) on the premises…but it takes an electric pump to get it up to the tank to feed your house!!! Another thing I am not used to, drinking tap water can make you sick as hell. All the “bugs” that live in the tap water make it very unappealing to drink or even cook with. Everything that is washed (especially for the baby) has to be meticulously dried and then sterilized before it can be used. We have become accustomed to a boiling salt-water sterilizer here and it is just business as usual to utilize it for everything. We also have to be careful brushing our teeth, not to swallow any of the water, for fear of becoming ill. I remember the water in Pittsburg tasting like a box of matches had been soaked in the glass and even smelling like sulfur after taking a shower…but at least it would not turn your butt into an ass-canon shooting every direction indiscriminate of location or time.

Transportation is obviously different here. I have talked about Matatus, Buses, and Roads previously but it bears being worth mention again. Every single time one gets on the road here in Nairobi, one is taking a risk with their life. Sure, it is the same in the States, but not to the degree. Chaos, mass chaos is the transportation system here. Combine that with roads that cannot be comprehended…main-roads that are in worse shape than the old country gravel roads I drove in my younger days…way, way worse. Potholes one could toss a couch into, roads so rough that washboards in the States seem smooth in comparison. Every single gas station has an active tire store and there is always a line. Michigan roads could teach Kenyans a thing or two about smoothness… Also as mentioned previously, the folks in the trucks that intuitively believe they own the roads, day or night, and can arbitrarily endanger anyone else on the road for their own benefit. With very few exceptions I will not travel on the roads after dark…it is just not safe…period. I miss the incredibly smooth and safe roads of the States…my Chevrolet Avalanche instead of the Mitsubishi sedan I am driving…and getting in the car and driving somewhere without having to stop and think about safety or even routes by potholes…especially carrying my daughter with me.

Telephone communication here is also very different. It is nice, actually. Nobody really picks up the phone to call and see how someone else is doing. It is mainly used as a communication device to get a quick point across and then disconnect. I do not think I have had a Kenyan conversation last more than two minutes in the three months I have been here. Home phone lines are almost non-existent and cell phone usage is very expensive. We use “Safaricom” as our service provider and it is a prepay system we use. If we manage our calls very frugally, we can usually get by on KES 1000 for a week or two ($13 USD). If we have a lot of phone calls to make, it can go by in a day, especially if we call someone off network (it works out to something like 30 cents a minute). Internet is the same way…limited browsing and usage has us spending KES 2500 for a gig of bandwidth (prepay about $35 USD) on a 3G network every two to three weeks. This is something I really miss from the States…being able to communicate with family and friends easily and utilizing the internet for the great tool it is. We do not look at pictures sent to us nor videos sent or suggested because of the bandwidth expense. Back in the States, having unlimited bandwidth at 10MB speeds was just too awesome…truly spoiled…

Probably the biggest issue that I will be glad to be rid of is the pollution and air quality here in Nairobi. Where we live, in Karen, is not so bad. Travel to the city or airport and it is another thing altogether. I call it BBS…for “Black Booger Syndrome”. Literally, it will turn your snot black with God knows what in the air. Large (and small) trucks belching black smoke, no cars passing any type of emissions testing…it is way worse than L.A. was back in the early 90’s and DFW today. Matter of fact, I remember growing up in and around automotive repair and having vehicles run in enclosed garages…and not being this bad. I do not know if this is the sole source, but allergies and general pneumonic-health are inflamed here too. I had not considered this prior to bringing my infant daughter here, so there are going to be some good things to come from this and a lot better than digging BBS’s out of her nose every evening…

From our previous travels to Kenya, things are exactly how we remembered them to be, even the things that we had forgotten. It is a true paradise; beautiful beyond imagination; gardens that would never exist in the States, everyone smiling, walking, living, and laughing. People here are happy…including us. Everyone takes the shortcomings in stride as they seem to be outweighed by all the positives that exist here. People are happy with what they have and are not necessarily driven to one-up their neighbors. Not obsessed with material possession rather their deeds and actions. It is not Utopia, but it is a good place with good people affording all a good time that are willing to embrace it…it truly is Hakuna Matata. Just like in “Coming to America”…they find things they truly miss about Africa but really like living the American way of life.

Return to the Dark Continent

Well, we are back from the UAE and have mixed emotions for sure. Dubai and Sharjah both lived up to their reputations and disappointed a bit too. Some things we could never have anticipated, some things we had thought about and were confirmed. It also made us look at Kenya a bit differently, some things we appreciate more and some things we truly miss more. Bottom line, we are getting a wide-open look at a few different cultures, rounding our world views, dismissing some myths, and hopefully making us more tolerant.

Upon arrival to Sharjah airport, we blazed through immigration and got our bags without any problems. It was truly a nice change compared to the crap involving US and British airports. They could definitely take lessons on this. Having an American passport is an incredible help too, not requiring a Visa to enter the country…this helps all over the world. Enough employees manning the desks, tons of customer service folks available and most importantly…and this cannot be stressed enough…FREE LUGGAGE TROLLEYS!!!!! This is also available in Kenya and I cannot believe the idiots in America cannot figure this out. The time, aggravation, and efficiency of moving people from baggage, gates, etc…out the door is incredible. Instead of someone not being able to afford a cart and balancing four bags, running into folks, saying they are sorry every 10 seconds…there are free baggage trolleys provided by the airport. Enough said but not enough done…I implore US airports to adopt this incredibly easy benefit.

After getting through the airport, it was time to find our cousin who was picking us up at the airport. Holy Crap!! Mind you, I had left DFW in May before it got really hot, lived in Nairobi where the high has been 78 and lows usually in the mid 50’s… The blast-furnace that is the Arabian Desert, even at night, was initially unbearable. Daytime temperatures around 45 Celsius (113 Fahrenheit) and nighttime temps 38 C (95 F) are for desert dwellers, not normal folks…wait a minute, that’s right…I am in a desert. Maybe all the dudes wearing sheets should have tipped this off? Or maybe the fact that other than “official” parks and golf courses, there is nary a blade of grass to be seen? The heat of the day was never really bearable and nighttime was just tolerable if outside. A few of the restaurants that we ate at had outdoor seating and understandable did not open until late in the evening. For the non-acclimated, this was going to be interesting as it had been a year since I had experienced triple-digit temps.

Another thing that immediately stands out, there are freaking tons of skyscrapers! I mean really cool, tall buildings. I had no idea…it is almost like Manhattan. In the middle of the desert some Sheiks decided to build this huge empire of very tall buildings…and they are everywhere. There is nothing that reminds me of DFW rather it is what I expect from NYC or Boston or a miniature downtown Chi-town. Also, there are tons of American fast-food restaurants…all with their names spelled in Arabic but their logos are plainly visible from blocks away. We ended up eating at a Pizza Hut (our guide’s choice, not mine) upon arrival and it was great. Had not had wings in over three months and it was about time! I remember making fun of my buddy PJ in Paris when he insisted on eating at a Planet Hollywood for wings after living in Denmark for months…crap, we could be eating snails or something dude! I totally take all that back now…I understand.

The service provided, everywhere, is top notch. Everyone we encountered in service positions spoke perfect English along with at least one other Native tongue. Most of them seemed to be either Philippine or Malaysian…don’t know for sure and do not know how to tell the difference…only what I was told. One thing we did notice, you do not see many Arabs working…anywhere. I think they just sit at home and count their money?

Another thing that caught my wife and I off guard were all the prostitutes! I am not talking about a stray seen walking along a dark side street; I am talking about lines of them along specific streets and hundreds of them walking in and out of bars. This was really funky considering it is a Muslim country; one would think this kind of crap would be forbidden! I guess it is “tolerated” from what we are told. I guess the Sheik that owns Dubai is all about absolutely no reason to have folks leave the city with their money. I guess he has covered all his bases. Our cousin told us that there are bars that “specialize” in specific origins of ladies….i.e. Indians, Russians, Malaysians, Eastern Europe…even Americans. I think Dubai is basically NYC, in the desert, with 60% Indian population, the rest a mix of Arabs and White Folks…and hardly any Black Folks. The streets are dusty but in great shape, hot as Hades and a ton of stuff to do so long as it is indoors and more restaurants and hotels than I am used to seeing surrounded by really, really tall buildings.

We are now trying to figure out if the job idea in Dubai is going to work. The amount of money we could make in a short period of time might make it worth living in the desert for a year or so. If not for the big bucks, there is no way in God’s green (dusty sand) Earth I would live there. We went to the Ministry of Health and it appears that my wife can take an exam in November and then get a job about anywhere she would want to. My options are pretty good considering the amount of Engineering and Sales that are going on here. So, we are excited that we have one possibility.

Upon reflection and returning back to Nairobi…we are extremely torn. My wife and I both love Nairobi, its people and everything else about it sans the corruption and carjackings. The streets are more beautiful than one can comprehend; people are nicer than anywhere in the States, and just about every amenity one could want (except consistent electricity) is here. We had committed so much to coming to Nairobi both in time (two years in the making), effort (moving all the crap from one side of the earth to the other is a chore), and energy (having to explain over and over to family and friends why we left a million dollar house in the affluent suburb of Southlake, TX for a third-world country…sucked the life force out of us). We banked a lot on this trip and it is unfortunate that Kenya is not going to be in our immediate future as we really love it here. We were looking forward to making new friends, raising our family, and creating a new life. Instead we are packing our crap up and moving back to the States for an undetermined period of time. We shall catch a break eventually…

Peace,

Dude
FBO