"Coming to America"

As I transitioned from young adult to where I am at today, say from 25 onwards, cable TV always seemed to have “Coming To America” playing on some channel any hour of the day. My friend P.J. would visit and inevitably we would end up watching it each and every time…maybe not start to finish but it didn’t seem to matter. I liken my return to the States as something from that movie; leaving an African country for the spoils of the United States.

Unfortunately and as has been mentioned previously, things did not quite work out the way we anticipated them to. I had left home 6 weeks prior to my wife’s departure due to the necessity and importance of the new job I had over here. “Had” being the operative word as it never materialized…and kind of never really existed except in the mind of he who offered it to me unfortunately. There initially was a lot of finger pointing here which never amounts to any good, especially among friends. Regardless, the original idea was that I had an outstanding job opportunity here and it gave us the flexibility of my wife working if she chose. Now with it being three months without me earning an income and no exact understanding of when my wife could get her license to practice medicine here, we have decided that our short-term plan is to return to the States.

It is a bittersweet decision. No other way to say it I guess. We had been planning our move to Kenya for two years...even had discussed it with my Father prior to his passing away. His blessing was the final straw for us to commit to the plan. The adversity we overcame to get here…some has been well documented and some folks will never know…but suffice to say it was thick, it was stinky, and it was overcome. It was always bearable because we knew what Kenya was like and we knew that it would afford us a better lifestyle than what we had in the States. Sometimes these perceptions are just that, perceptions. Sometimes they are bona-fide and comforting to know that we were right…. I am going to toss some of the ideas out there and see how they panned out…with three weeks until our departure, I think we got a decent handle on how things are working over here.

One of the biggest motivators for us was the option of raising our daughter (and future son!) here. My wife and I have been somewhat disgusted at what society predicates is appropriate child-rearing in the States. The differences between when we were raised to my daughters generation is appalling. Today, many parents reason, debate, and argue with their child. That crap didn’t fly in my house growing up…matter of fact, it never crossed my mind that it was an option. A good swat on the butt, while still being effective is now more effective at having Social Services visit your house. Children 10-12 years old having oral sex parties when at that age (if I had ever heard the term) probably thought it was kissing a girl? A fourteen year old girl in our wealthy city of Southlake Texas was found dead of an overdose of heroin… Obama and his tree-hugging cronies mounting debt that my grandchildren will never be able to pay back (and Bush helped a bit too), folks wanting the word “God” out of anything and everything, not being an equal society but empowering minorities with entitlements, a possible decline in health care, the American Dollar falling out of favor…and these are just things that come to mind on a Sunday morning as I type this. It is hard to want to raise a child in America. It can be done and will require more due-diligence than my parent’s generation (or even those of my generation who chose to have children at an earlier age than 40!!)

Here in Kenya, many of those problems do not exist. Children are engrossed in school, private academies are affordable where exemplary educations can be had…and the kids all work really hard. Not only do they work hard at school, the society teaches them that they work hard at being part of the family. Kids do not go out at night, especially on a school night but hardly on weekends. Kids do not date until they are 18 for the most part. Kids do not drive. There is not an alcohol or drug problem (from what I can see) here either. I have not witnessed a single act of defiance from a child to a parent since arriving here…nothing but what I would call 1950’s “Leave it to Beaver” respect. There is not a predominance of single-parent homes (which is a huge issue in the States) and it is not uncommon for the entertainment of a Kenyan family to be the entire family doing something together…not the kids taking off in one direction and the parents in the other. It is hard to explain unless one has been here, but the differences are deafening in this respect.

Quality of work life is also a good measure of quality of life. In the United States, all things revolve around work. When you get up, when you eat, when you sleep, when (or if) you visit with family and friends…and almost always necessary to have two incomes to succeed. The hustle and bustle of American work ethics is non-existent here. There is a saying that is not far from true here in Kenya, “why do today what you can put off and do tomorrow?” On one hand, maybe that explains why Kenyans have not walked on the moon, created ICBM’s, or are known for their scientific endeavors but it also may explain why Xanax, Valium and other psycho-enhancing drugs and services are not required here. If someone gets crazy here because something is delayed there are either two responses (or they both happen simultaneously…. One, “crazy American/Mzungu” or two, “are you serious?”

Cool folks are aplenty here in Kenya. As mentioned previously, there are not too many people in a hurry here, they do not get too stressed out, and are always quick to offer a smile. It seems that when one meets a Kenyan, it does not matter what socio-economic group one is from…there is a polite greeting exchange, a few nice words and always a smile. Kenyans are the smileyest (sp?) folks I have ever run into. Actually, they either smile or have no expression…very rarely have I ever seen a frown or anger. Matter of fact, I would be willing to say that if a Kenyan was pissed at you, you would never know it by looking at them. Compare that to living in the States…even the dude at Burger King is upset for even having to be there at work and may just add a “secret sauce” to your food if you do not kiss their butt just right. Here, it is an honor to have a job and be of service…with a smile. Folks would never dream of desecrating food…something that is so sacred, it is unheard of. It makes it easy to treat everyone equal here as everyone seems to be happy to be around you here. It is very hard to explain unless you have experienced it and I highly recommend it.

I always used to think that the Good Samaritan in the States was unique…albeit it has died off a lot since I was younger. Now it appears that in the States (with very few exceptions) folks will help you only for “…what’s in it for me?” A call to supposedly good friends will go unanswered …probably the biggest reason folks in the U.S. utilize caller I.D. Folks cannot be bothered with others problems as they have too many of their own. Or, maybe there are folks that are happy to see you fail as they have an inner jealousy that does not want to see their friends or acquaintances be as/more successful than themselves. There are others that are just sick and like to see others fall. My wife and I have been exposed to a TON of this back in the States and it is very, very sad. Here, at the slightest sign of trouble folks come out of the woodwork to try and help. When I posted some “issues” I was having to this blog, I didn’t get a single response of “sorry” or “can I help” or “hope things get better” from anyone (other than my step-sis in Coffeyville…thank you Carissa). However, unsolicited responses from people we knew and even people we did not know from Kenya came in with offers to help any way they could and to offer sympathy and apologies for our encounters with adversity. We told our landlords of our problems and they immediately offered to delay rent due, call people they know for jobs, etc… A great guy I know who helped us import our animals heard and offered to assist, invited us over for dinner, and wanted to help us sell things we had purchased here. The outpouring of assistance and understanding was both a blessing and a surprise. Even the guy that mans the gate here in our compound who probably earns $50 a month, said he was sorry to hear our troubles and that we were leaving…and asked if there was anything he could do to help. You will NEVER find that in the States…period. (ONE NOTE: We have some amazing friends that have helped us from the States…you know who you are…do not take anything from this paragraph)

The food is better here too…considering you keep a few things in mind. One, you will NEVER get as good a hamburger or steak here. Beef is just not as good here. Two, you will pay out the nose for convenience foods here…almost twice as much as the cost in the States. However, if you want fresh, organic by design foods, this is your place. In the States, one pound of boneless chicken breasts will buy you probably two breasts? Maybe three? Here it will by six. Chicken is a staple food here and is not pumped full of antibiotics, steroids, and God knows what else to make it bigger, plumper, juicier, or whatever. Instead, it is a bit smaller but tastes way better too. My wife will not really eat chicken in the States because it tastes like chicken. Here, she really enjoys chicken because it does not taste like chicken here….maybe that is why the references of everything tasting like chicken in the States actually refers to it tasting like crap? Vegetables here are really, really good too. Instead of going to Central Market in Southlake to buy special organic avocados the size of a lemon for $2 a piece we buy organic avocados the size of a softball for 20 cents apiece. Onions, potatoes, carrots, peppers are all “organic” here and fresh off the vine. The fruits are even better. Living on the equator in the tropics makes Mangos, Bananas, Passion, Guava, Pineapple, and other fruits incredibly tasty and incredibly cheap. Four pounds of Mangos will run well under a dollar. Two full grocery bags of fruits and vegetables will cost under $15 USD and be better than anything one could buy in the States.

Restaurants are also a great thing here. We had arguably one of the best Italian meals in our lives last evening in a place that is attached to a Mall. My wives family is Indian and have eaten a lot of Indian food in the States…but consistently I have eaten way better Indian food here in Kenya (even in Mall food courts) than can be found in the best restaurants (and mothers kitchens) in the United States. Seafood dinners that are on par with the best seafood restaurants in Florida, Hawaii, Gulf Coast…for a third the cost here in Kenya…maybe even better? Everywhere there is world-class coffee that would put Starbucks out of business once and for all and beverages that are made out of sugar cane sugar instead of “high-fructose corn syrup” that will blow you away…never mind the fresh fruit juices without any added sugar that are to die for. However did I mention there are no good burgers or steaks? I don’t know if any of the previously mentioned trumps that though…

There are obviously things lacking here…huge things that impact ones day to day living. Almost all of these things revolve around the civil infrastructure here. Lump them together as Electricity, Water, Transportation, and Communication.

Electricity is a very fragile commodity here in Kenya. It is everywhere and there are tons of modern conveniences available that run off of it including our new LCD TV, Stereo system, lights, cell phone chargers, vape chips, microwaves, refrigerators, etc… The bad thing is that all of these very cool appliances and niceties will only run about half the time. Electricity is in “conservation” mode right now. I am assuming that it is predominately generated by hydroelectric means and there is a huge water shortage (will get to that later). Needless to say, we have taken very few hot showers…even warm ones, in the past month because there are no hot water tanks. Hot water is generated by an appliance that resembles a shower head and bolts on to the end of the spigot in ones shower. It plugs into the wall and instantly heats water for the shower. Without this appliance being on, the water comes out at a cool 55 degrees Fahrenheit… I know I have mentioned this before on many different mediums but it bears the test of time to repeat that this is a monstrous pain in the butt…literally sometimes. Some very long days spent in the house with no radio, TV, light, hot water, microwave, refrigerator, cell phone…or COFFEE MAKER!!! It kind of sucks…

As mentioned previously, the water supply here is a bit shaky too. To conserve electricity, arbitrarily and without notice, it is shut off at 6:00am and turned back on sometime between 5:00pm and 7:00pm…every day of the week except occasionally on Sunday. This is a monstrous pain in the ass…really as it even affects water. Houses here are a bit different than in the States…there is no modern water supply system here…it is either delivered by trucks to a holding tank that is either in ones attic or sitting on a very tall stand (your own personal water tower) and that is how one gets water pressure…by gravity on your own property. Some folks are blessed by having a bore hole (well water) on the premises…but it takes an electric pump to get it up to the tank to feed your house!!! Another thing I am not used to, drinking tap water can make you sick as hell. All the “bugs” that live in the tap water make it very unappealing to drink or even cook with. Everything that is washed (especially for the baby) has to be meticulously dried and then sterilized before it can be used. We have become accustomed to a boiling salt-water sterilizer here and it is just business as usual to utilize it for everything. We also have to be careful brushing our teeth, not to swallow any of the water, for fear of becoming ill. I remember the water in Pittsburg tasting like a box of matches had been soaked in the glass and even smelling like sulfur after taking a shower…but at least it would not turn your butt into an ass-canon shooting every direction indiscriminate of location or time.

Transportation is obviously different here. I have talked about Matatus, Buses, and Roads previously but it bears being worth mention again. Every single time one gets on the road here in Nairobi, one is taking a risk with their life. Sure, it is the same in the States, but not to the degree. Chaos, mass chaos is the transportation system here. Combine that with roads that cannot be comprehended…main-roads that are in worse shape than the old country gravel roads I drove in my younger days…way, way worse. Potholes one could toss a couch into, roads so rough that washboards in the States seem smooth in comparison. Every single gas station has an active tire store and there is always a line. Michigan roads could teach Kenyans a thing or two about smoothness… Also as mentioned previously, the folks in the trucks that intuitively believe they own the roads, day or night, and can arbitrarily endanger anyone else on the road for their own benefit. With very few exceptions I will not travel on the roads after dark…it is just not safe…period. I miss the incredibly smooth and safe roads of the States…my Chevrolet Avalanche instead of the Mitsubishi sedan I am driving…and getting in the car and driving somewhere without having to stop and think about safety or even routes by potholes…especially carrying my daughter with me.

Telephone communication here is also very different. It is nice, actually. Nobody really picks up the phone to call and see how someone else is doing. It is mainly used as a communication device to get a quick point across and then disconnect. I do not think I have had a Kenyan conversation last more than two minutes in the three months I have been here. Home phone lines are almost non-existent and cell phone usage is very expensive. We use “Safaricom” as our service provider and it is a prepay system we use. If we manage our calls very frugally, we can usually get by on KES 1000 for a week or two ($13 USD). If we have a lot of phone calls to make, it can go by in a day, especially if we call someone off network (it works out to something like 30 cents a minute). Internet is the same way…limited browsing and usage has us spending KES 2500 for a gig of bandwidth (prepay about $35 USD) on a 3G network every two to three weeks. This is something I really miss from the States…being able to communicate with family and friends easily and utilizing the internet for the great tool it is. We do not look at pictures sent to us nor videos sent or suggested because of the bandwidth expense. Back in the States, having unlimited bandwidth at 10MB speeds was just too awesome…truly spoiled…

Probably the biggest issue that I will be glad to be rid of is the pollution and air quality here in Nairobi. Where we live, in Karen, is not so bad. Travel to the city or airport and it is another thing altogether. I call it BBS…for “Black Booger Syndrome”. Literally, it will turn your snot black with God knows what in the air. Large (and small) trucks belching black smoke, no cars passing any type of emissions testing…it is way worse than L.A. was back in the early 90’s and DFW today. Matter of fact, I remember growing up in and around automotive repair and having vehicles run in enclosed garages…and not being this bad. I do not know if this is the sole source, but allergies and general pneumonic-health are inflamed here too. I had not considered this prior to bringing my infant daughter here, so there are going to be some good things to come from this and a lot better than digging BBS’s out of her nose every evening…

From our previous travels to Kenya, things are exactly how we remembered them to be, even the things that we had forgotten. It is a true paradise; beautiful beyond imagination; gardens that would never exist in the States, everyone smiling, walking, living, and laughing. People here are happy…including us. Everyone takes the shortcomings in stride as they seem to be outweighed by all the positives that exist here. People are happy with what they have and are not necessarily driven to one-up their neighbors. Not obsessed with material possession rather their deeds and actions. It is not Utopia, but it is a good place with good people affording all a good time that are willing to embrace it…it truly is Hakuna Matata. Just like in “Coming to America”…they find things they truly miss about Africa but really like living the American way of life.