The Long Drive to Watamu...

Ok, I am sitting at my cottage, minding my own business when my good friend here asks me if I would like to go to Watamu for the weekend. Are you kidding me? Of course I want to go! Watamu is a resort town on the Indian Ocean just about at the Equator. Beautiful beaches, great restaurants, sun, sand, palm trees, the works…what is not to like? Now, things start to unravel… My friend suggests that while I am down there, I could arrange to manage the work on his beach house. Fine! And, that I could probably drive myself down there….this is where things could have gone horribly wrong.

I question the merits of me driving, cross country, with but a few trips to Nakumatt under my belt. He assures me it is a piece of cake. Now, in the past, there are a few things this friend will leave out of an equation, figuring that everything will fall into place…you know the type, the “Big Idea” guy? Anyhoo, I get off the phone with him and start boning up on the drive. Google Maps, check! Lonely Planet guide trip…check… Talk to a couple of locals I know…starting to get queasy but can make this thing work.

So, I go over to my friend’s house and ride-with as he goes to the airport. Now, the big reason I am going is that due to unfortunate circumstances, the guy that would normally go and get the house “open” is in India for a few weeks taking care of his brother (remember the TB thing?) It is very important to me that the house be ready for my wife’s arrival. Her best friend has helped us out tremendously over the past few weeks and had also stepped up to the plate and bought her own airline tickets to accompany my wife to Kenya with our 9 month old daughter (actually, will be 10 months when the travel!) I think we owe Diana a first-class trip with not just experiencing Nairobi, but the coast and either the Mara or Tsavo or Amboselli…some type of kick-butt Safari. Well, showing the coast would not work if the coast house was not ready…so I agree but with stipulations. I do not want to drive, I have to be able to take my dog, and I do not want to spend a bunch of money on this trip. All stipulations were met eagerly…ok, this might have been to easy?

Because of the timing, I had to hurriedly prepare. We finalized the plans at around 3:00pm and I left the following morning from my home at 5:45am. He agreed to hire a driver (actually one that already works for him) and I had to meet him and take him to the vehicle at 6:00AM sharp. I hurriedly got all my crap together, slowly realizing I am not prepared for a trip to the coast. Most importantly, I do not have enough Malarone on me (Malarial Medicine) and will have to try and find some down here…for probably 10x what it would cost in Nairobi. Got my bags packed by 9:00pm, to bed by midnight (couldn’t get sleepy) and up out of bed at 5:00am.
Getting up in the morning was not hard…I have been to this place before and I knew how cool it was and I was excited. Even if it was a working vacation from Nairobi, I would take it in a heartbeat. Meeting the driver in the morning went exactly as planned and picked up the car easily and were on our way by 6:15am. Already checked out the route, got to Mombasa road and turn Right, drive straight to Mombasa on freeway to C104 and turn Left, then straight to Watamu. Easy, right? Five, maybe six hours and I am there…and monkeys might fly out of my arse too!

Traffic in Nairobi SUCKS! We made it about half-way to Mombasa road and cars were stacked-up on top of each other. Took some side-streets the driver knew of (thank God, or I would still be there) and were on Mombasa Road by 6:45am. I had been told that Mombasa Road had been re-built by the Chinese and it was a smooth-sailing road all the way to Mombasa. Well, I have been told a lot of things by a lot of people and this just might top them all.
There are a few “sections” that are quite nice. It is very smooth like a good 2-lane highway in the States. However, the other 80% is either questionable or downright horrific! There are a few “diversions” which in the states would be called “detours”. These random “diversions” would take a gravel and mud swath across a ditch and continue on either gravel, dust, mud “tracks” that require a 4wd (we were traveling in a front-drive Mitsubishi sedan) or remnants of the old road that were in such horrible shape it would have been better to try the shoulder if it were not filled with Matatus and people walking. Bone-jarring bumps, kidney-pounding ruts, bladder-sloshing potholes all in a symphony that beats one silly. Combine this with huge trucks, Matatus, and 4wd’s all jockeying for that singular position that was ahead of our car, I am glad I was not driving for probably the first time in my life. My driver took it all in stride and the entire time acted like it was normal…and it was for him. I ALWAYS drive. Not this time and to think I was going to go it alone?

Once past all the crap (this is three hours into the five to six hour drive) there was some semblance of a highway again. However, because this is the only workable route between the largest port in East Africa and it connects it to the largest Metropolitan area in the country, imagine taking all the tractor-trailer trucks in the U.S. and put them on ONE ROAD! Also combine this with a steep grade (I went from 5600ft to 0 ft on this trip) and everyone wanting to pass without rules or regard for personal safety…I cannot give you how many times I was (either left of right lane, didn’t matter) going from 140 Km/Hour to 5 km/hour within fractions of a second, whipping back and forth across the middle in time to feel the breeze from the oncoming vehicle…I eventually just closed my eyes until we got to the outskirts of Mombasa.

Mombasa is another thing all together. It is the second-largest city in Kenya (next to Nairobi) and a huge distribution hub for the Eastern part of the continent. Traffic was just as bad as in Nairobi, but subtract any real “development”. Most of what I saw was very run-down, very old, and not kept up at all. Swarms of people walking, not just on the side but down the middle and crossing too, one would die doing this in Nairobi. The simple “Left” turn would have been a complete and total disaster for me. It was not marked and involved about four traffic circles with non-square options and no compass in the vehicle. Even my professional driver got a bit lost but fortunately was able to ask (in Kiswahili) for directions and we were on our way. If it were me driving, I would have eventually just turned around and drove the six hours back to Nairobi and given up. Seriously. Yes, we are now Eight hours into our five to six hour trip and still hours away.

The drive up the Kenyan coast was nice (subtracting that my butt was aching from sitting so long). A side-note, a long drive in the States is easy to break up what with all the “Loves Truck Stops”, well marked rest areas, and descriptions of what are on each intersection of the freeway… NOTHING IS HERE! We peed on the side of the road, did not pass a single place to purchase soda, let alone a sandwich the entire way. Combine that with the “comfortable” road conditions and I nearly had to change my underwear…multiple times considering the combative driving environment. It was a bit of a nice change up the coast though. A bit more laid-back, better road conditions, and much better scenery.

The scenery from Nairobi to Mombasa is really cool at first. Tons of mountains surrounded by exactly what you might see on National Geographic or Animal Planet. Absolutely beautiful when not having ones butt clenched so tightly that one cannot feel the fingers digging into the armrest s. Then there is the desert. Very similar to the California Desert around the 29 Palms area. TONS of people live there though, and not in air conditioning or modern conveniences. I asked the driver how/what these people lived on? His reply….”its hard.” After opening my eyes I could start to see clouds, which meant we were arriving to the coast, including more and more palm trees, coconut trees, and the like.

Everything else was pretty much uneventful except for getting turned around in Watamu. That was only 20 minutes or so of our 11 hour adventure. I am looking forward to getting the house back into “live-in” shape and doing some basic relaxing if possible. Again, this is a beautiful area and a very beautiful home. Thatched-roof covering about 4000 sq/ft with pool, I will get some pictures posted on this one.

It would almost be enjoyable except for the fact that I know, deep down in my heart, I have a car ride back to look forward too.