Mzungu (White Guy)

One of the first things that stick out is that, as a whole, there are not a lot of Mzungu in Kenya.

Mzungu get treated differently than other Kenyans in my opinion. Depending on where you are, it varies. Where I live, in Karen, it is not that big a deal. There are tons of Expats (expatriates from other countries) everywhere and they are a common site. When I went to the downtown Nairobi area with my friend Sunni to get his Visa…I felt like a fish in a fish tank. I think I was the only Mzungu within miles and it shows.

We went to a grocery store there to get a bit of lunch while we were waiting for the Indian Consulate to open. Standing at the bakery counter, I was passed over numerous times to place my order…always being pushed aside or ignored. After a few minutes of this, my Kenyan friend stepped up, laughing, and placed the order immediately. Two things; one I was Mzungu and two I was too polite. Standing in line is not the same as standing in line in the States. Not a single Kenyan respects another’s “personal space”. In the States, there is that 18-inch rule…”please do not crowd me and respect my personal space. Touching, pushing, intruding in ones space is taboo and rude. Here, it is a game to see how many folks can be crammed in per square-foot. In Karen, it is a bit different. Folks still do not necessarily respect ones personal space, but Mzungu are treated the same as the Kenyans. Also, one does not politely wait his turn. Instead, you push forward barking your order with the “you’re not going to ignore me” attitude. This is not always the right tact and I am learning when to use it and when not to.

Another aspect where Mzungu are treated differently, the Kenyans automatically assume you have lots of money. All things being said, most Mzungu do have a bit more cash than the average Kenyan. Whenever you are in traffic, the locals will approach ones vehicle trying to sell everything from DVD’s to roasted peanuts to maps to goodness knows what. Even after saying, politely no, they will persist even while the windows are up and one avoids eye contact. The amazing thing though, in the states there is some drunk begging for money on the street corner (or con artist), here they are trying to actually earn a living by selling goods.

Kenyans are a hard worker that is for sure. Take, for example, the folks that are putting up the fence around my cottage. Sixty feet of fence in the States would cost probably between $3000 and $10,000, depending on what type of fence one was putting in. Typically a group of Mexicans would show up, throw it up in a day, and possibly even paint it the same day. I remember they put up probably 200 feet of wrought-iron fencing at our house in a day and painted it the next. The fence they are putting up at my cottage right now is a beauty built by true artisans. Raw materials were brought in, bent into ornamental shapes and welded on-site. Pieces are all cut by hand (no power tools whatsoever), bent by hand, and shaped by hand. I think I saw a hacksaw, a hammer, and a very old/cheap welder that did not always work every time. They have been working on it for coming on two weeks now, applying the primer coat as I type this. A group of about four Kenyans have been working on it, sometimes two, sometimes four. They take pride in the work that they are doing and are pleasant and congenial…and are charging about KES 20,000 or about $260 USD.

The thing that drives me nuts is that there is technology that can make this move so much faster, enabling them to build more, faster, for more money. However, the culture makes this moot. By keeping long-term, gainful employment and preventing putting others out of business is a goal, I guess. The driveway to my cottage is about ¼ mile long. The ditches are “mowed” with a machete. In the States, there would be a wicked gas-powered weed whacker knocking it down in an hour or so. Here, it takes days. The idea of starting up a company with gas-powered equipment, doing the work for less money, faster, and a better job is not an idea that would be welcomed. I think it is “Harambee”, which if I translate right is “Kenyans First”. That company would violate Harambee by un-employing hundreds of Kenyans. Something that is not good. Some things seem strange to Mzungu…and I am sure they think Mzungu are strange too.

Take my dog, for example. I have a great German Shepherd Dog that is very well trained. Most Kenyans would never dream of having a dog any other way than chaining it up during the day and then letting it roam the yard of an evening. Kenyans generally have a phobia of dogs too. I cannot let my dog outside while they are working on the fence or you will see Kenyans scatter…even if they are on the other side of the fence. They also laugh at me when they see me talking to my dog…and eyes get wide and laughter abates a bit when they see my dog respond to commands. The good thing is that word is out the Mzungu has a dog that thinks Kenyans taste like chicken! Folks stop in the street and parking lots when they see me take our dog for a ride in the car. The “Askaris” (Security Guards) at the shopping centers stopped me after parking….from a distance…and asked me to roll the windows all the way up in the car. I had left her in the car as it is MUCH better than a car alarm. The guard was visibly worried that our dog might get out of the car. I assured him that she would not and appeased by rolling up the windows a tad. I then advised him that as long as he didn’t reach into the car, there was no way he would get bitten. He nervously laughed and took a few steps further back. Coming and going, there were lots of onlookers of the car I was driving albeit from a wide-berth.

Crazy Mzungus…